


Fools Rush In (and I’ve been fooled before)

by 0ceansgayt, mistygayy



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Trigger warning: alcohol poisoning, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-12 23:52:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13558227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0ceansgayt/pseuds/0ceansgayt, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistygayy/pseuds/mistygayy
Summary: Chloe loves Aubrey, Aubrey loves Beca, and Beca loves Chloe, and Stacie thinks they're a god damned mess.Eventual triple treble, the slowest of burns to destroy your shipper hearts





	1. Stay Stay Stay (but Aubrey didn’t stay)

**Author's Note:**

> So we (sarcasticrayofsunshine and I) have poured our entire hearts and souls into this fic. We are like, actually working hard on this, so i hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Leave some reviews so we know you aren’t dead, y’all. 
> 
> TW: suicide attempt mention, alcohol poisoning

It wasn’t supposed to hurt this badly, Chloe tells herself. They were casual, friends with benefits at best. But it didn’t stop the pain from bubbling up to the surface. 

No, she never asked Aubrey to stay - but the blonde was absolutely clueless. She wouldn’t know love if it punched her in the face, which Amy offered to do after she found Chloe sitting in the quad at midnight, at the bottom of a bottle of scotch. 

They kissed at nationals - on stage at nationals - and if that didn’t show Aubrey how much Chloe loved her, then what did? She stopped casual dating, stopped sleeping around. 

There was no way that Aubrey was so oblivious. 

Chloe failed Russian Lit - in part to stay back with the Bellas for one more year, and in part because she was so caught up in one certain blonde that she stopped doing her homework. Even being chastised by Aubrey felt amazing - any attention was better than none at all, she had to guess. 

Half of Chloe expected Aubrey to stay. Half of her expected someone to jump out and tell her it was all a big joke. 

For god’s sakes, they slept in the same bed! They never spent a night apart. The two women were inseparable, joined at the hip (or hand, or mouth) like the creepy twins from the Shining. 

But no, Aubrey wouldn’t know love if it punched her in the face. 

When the boxes and furniture was carried out of their apartment - the apartment they shared for three years after deciding that dorm rooms were not for them - Chloe broke down. 

She didn’t know how to live without Aubrey. They had lived together for four years, slept in the same bed for three. They had separate bedrooms, separate beds, yet always fell into bed together at the end of the day. 

Chloe’s bed was for the sleepless nights, staying up far too late, head between the other’s thighs. Her room was for passion and lust, sex to ease the anxiety. Sex to ease the sadness - they spent a lot of time in Chloe’s bed after Aubrey’s mamaw passed away. 

But Aubrey’s room was for emotion. For the nights where they needed to hold or be held. It was Chloe’s little escape, sleeping in Aubrey’s bed that was just a touch too small, but Aubrey would never get a bigger bed in fear of losing the opportunity to be held. 

Chloe stood, leaning on the kitchen counter as they carried out Aubrey’s bed frame. It took all she had to not break out into angry tears in front of Aubrey’s mama and daddy. General Posen would not be impressed with a sudden display of emotion.

Aubrey passed through the kitchen and Chloe’s breath caught in her throat. After four years and experiencing everything together - the good, the bad, and the ugly - it was a wonder that she could still be mesmerized by the mere sight of the other woman. 

She didn’t look spectacular, but it was a sight Chloe wanted to keep for herself. Aubrey’s skin shone with a light layer of sweat - god, it was so hot watching her lift furniture - her hair thrown up in a messy bun, loose strands framing her face. How could someone look drop dead gorgeous in yoga pants? 

She shot Aubrey a weak, watery smile before grabbing the tequila and heading for the door. 

Morning found Chloe asleep in Beca’s bed - fully clothed, thank you very much - and her apartment significantly more empty. She made the executive decision to move Beca into their - her - apartment.

Not before she painted the walls, though. No one could do justice to yellow walls like Aubrey did.

And if she were telling the truth? It would hurt too badly to see Beca in Aubrey’s room, which wasn’t Aubrey’s room anymore. 

When Aubrey called and asked how Chloe was holding up, the redhead told her that it was “totes awesome” living with Beca, which may have been the biggest lie she ever told the other woman. If you thought that Chloe didn’t spend every night crying outside of Aubrey - Beca’s door, you were wrong. 

Their calls dwindled down to once a week, Aubrey never really catching the hint of hope in Chloe’s voice when Aubrey mentioned visiting - which she never did. It was like when you told your grandma that you were going to visit, placidly reciting the same phrase you would never come through on. 

Chloe stopped waiting - stopped hoping. She didn’t sleep around, didn’t even date. Beca tried to drag her out to singles nights, clubs, bars, and parties, but Chloe would never budge. 

Everything hurt too badly. It felt like the biggest slap in the face and stab to the heart. Was she not enough? 

Surely not. Aubrey left just like her father did when she was a child. Chloe felt, for the second time in her life, the crushing weight of rejection. It felt an awful lot like the familiar burn of tequila making its way down her throat. 

It also felt like Beca picking her limp body off the bathroom tile, screaming for Amy to call an ambulance. 

Chloe doesn’t remember much after that. 

She does, however, remember crying to Beca and wishing that Aubrey was there. Beca called, Aubrey never came. Something about not being able to leave the camp unattended, but Beca told Chloe that Aubrey was going to come. 

She didn’t. And it hurt Chloe worse than the handfuls of pills that she swallowed the night that Beca found her. 

Aubrey called and texted, but it wasn’t the same. She sent Chloe periodical “I love you” texts throughout the day, but it only hurt worse. If she loved her, then why would she leave her? 

But there was nothing to leave. They were never anything. It was something that Chloe bitterly reminded herself of every day. If she had acted on her feelings, would it have changed anything? 

Then again, they were already a couple without the defined label of dating. They kissed, slept in the same bed, went on dates - they even slept together! 

Chloe resigned herself to the fact that Aubrey would never have felt that way for her. She tried to pick up, move on, and get over it - but somehow, she always ended up squealing every time a certain blonde texted or called her, much to Beca’s dismay. 

And she had stupid ideas often, like the time she thought that Fat Amy dangling from the ceiling in a skin tight suit would make for a great performance - spoiler alert, it didn’t. But the stupidest idea by far - in Beca’s opinion - would be when Chloe booked them a week at Aubrey’s camp. 

Beca screamed - a lot. She even cried for good measure. Hell, even Amy of all people tried to talk some sense into her. 

But when Chloe got an idea in her head, she had to have it.


	2. If You Loved Me, Why’d You Leave Me? (Beca Stayed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think wrote this chapter? 
> 
> PS: we won’t tell you if you’re right ;)

They end up at the retreat, much to Beca’s chagrin. She had stayed back as all the others hugged the blonde, an angry scowl seeming to make a permanent appearance on her face. Chloe was the last to pull away, a longing look on her face as Aubrey got straight down to business.

Later, after they finally managed to get the tent set up, Beca snuck away-- unable to take the kicked puppy looks from Chloe as she stared off in the direction that Aubrey had gone. 

With anger coursing through her veins like wildfire, Beca made her way back the way they came, arms crossed over her chest. For months, Beca watched Chloe slowly go downhill. It hurt to see her that way, and it hurt (and angered her) to see her treated with such indifference. Because Chloe deserved so much more than that. 

In front of the Bellas, Chloe would pretend everything was okay, and to any person who didn’t know the ginger-- who wasn’t Beca, they didn’t see a difference. But Beca knew. And even if she hadn’t spent most nights picking up the pieces of a broken Chloe, she still would have known. She’d spot the differences. But as time went on, pieces started to go missing-- like every time Beca put Chloe back together again, there’d be a jagged edge where it should be smooth-- like she was slowly becoming nothing more than a hollowed out version of the perky redhead that Beca once knew.

And this kept up until even the Bellas started to notice Chloe breaking. Simply because she seemed to stop caring about whether they saw it or not. And that’s what scared Beca the most-- until that night she found Chloe unconscious on the bathroom floor. Then she had never been so terrified in her entire life. She’d immediately pulled Chloe into her arms, screaming through tears for Amy to call 911. “You stupid idiot,” She’d sobbed into her hair as she waited for the EMS to arrive. “You stupid, fucking idiot. You better not die. I love you. I love you, _so much_. P-please don’t you fucking die on me.” She held Chloe’s hand the entire ride there. 

The relief that Beca felt after the doctors said that she’d be okay (after they’d pumped her stomach) was an understatement. It had her uncharacteristically sobbing in front of all the Bellas-- not even pushing away Stacie when she wrapped Beca up in a hug. Instead, Beca had hugged her back just as fiercely, hiccuping sobs into the lanky brunette’s chest. The relief was short lived, though. Because Chloe just cried for Aubrey the whole time. And while it nearly broke Beca to hear that -- after she’d said what she’d been denying, out loud -- she called Aubrey anyway. 

The blonde never showed up though, and Chloe sank further into herself while Beca did the best she could to keep from falling apart herself so she could take care of Chloe. That was the moment that Beca really started to resent Aubrey. And the feeling hadn’t dwindled since arriving there at the retreat-- in fact it only seemed to grow and fester until Beca was just near boiling over. 

Knuckles rapped against a wooden door until it swung open to reveal one Aubrey Posen looking rather annoyed. Her expression fell, though as she realized it was Beca on the other end. Instead a look of confusion colored her features. Before Aubrey got a chance to open her mouth, Beca shoved past her. “What the fuck is your problem?” The smaller of the two snapped as she swiveled around to glare at Aubrey. 

“ _Excuse me?_ ” Aubrey whirled around, shutting the door as she did so. “What are you talking about?” 

Beca crossed her arms and shook her head. “Seriously? Are you really that heartless, or just plain fucking stupid?” 

The confused look quickly morphed into one of anger, hands going akimbo as she glared down at Beca. “What the hell are you talking about, Mitchell?”

Beca laughed humorlessly, one hand coming up to scratch at her forehead as she worked to keep from exploding on the blonde. It was no use, though-- this had been building for months. “Chloe!” She all but yelled. “You fucking broke her, Posen!” 

Aubrey blinked, brows furrowing slightly. “What? I just saw, Chloe. She’s fine!”

Again, Beca chuckled humorlessly. “If by fine, you mean _‘barely holding it together’_ , than yeah, she’s fine and jim-fucking-dandy!” She said, nostrils flaring in anger. “Do you know how many nights I spent picking up the pieces, Aubrey? Do you know how many times I scooped her up off the bathroom floor and washed the vomit from her hair after she’d drank herself sick?” Beca swallowed thickly, hands clenching at her sides. “Do you know how many nights I held her while she cried herself to sleep?” 

Aubrey deflated as all the color drained from her face. Apart of Beca reveled in the hurt and guilty look that flashed across Aubrey’s features. “Too many to fucking count.” Beca finished, shaking her head. “And that night at the hospital, after they’d finished pumping her stomach-- all she wanted was you. She could have died, Aubrey! Where were you!? Where the fuck were you when she needed you!? You can’t tell me that you don’t know… You can’t tell me that you don’t know that she’s in love with you.” 

“I--I--” Aubrey seemed to stumble back slightly, face turning a sickly shade of green. “I didn’t-- I wasn’t--” 

“What, Posen?! You didn’t what, you weren’t what!? There’s not a single fucking excuse for you. You should have dropped everything and been beside her, if for nothing else than the simple fact that she’s your best friend.” Beca smiled ruefully. “I’m not even sure about that anymore, because the way you’ve been treating Chloe--” The smaller woman shook her head. “--like she’s nothing but an inconvenience--.”

“I have not been treating Chloe like that!” Aubrey went to protest, causing Beca to scoff. 

“Bull-fucking-shit. Since you left, you’ve become more and more distant-- giving her the cold shoulder. Do you even care about her, really? Did you ever?” 

Suddenly Aubrey was advancing on Beca until she was towering over her, glaring daggers down at her, but Beca didn’t even flinch. “You don’t know anything, Beca. Of course I care, I’ve always cared about her. I love her!” 

Beca’s lips quirked up into a sneer. “You sure got a funny way of showing it.” 

“You don’t know anything.” Aubrey repeated, voice strained and clipped. 

“Well, why don’t you fucking explain it to me!” Beca practically yelled, arms going out in a ‘well?’ gesture. “Chloe deserves the world, Aubrey-- and I don’t understand how you can just push her aside like she’s nothing.” 

It's then that Aubrey stepped back, looking utterly sad and ashamed, her shoulders sagging just slightly as she glanced away. She almost looked timid -- something Beca never in a million years thought she would see -- it threw Beca for a loop.“You-- you don't understand,” she said, voice shaking with what Beca knew was an effort not to cry.

Beca deflated a little, fingers going up to scratch at her forehead before she sighed in resignation. “Then make me understand, dude,” She replied in a much gentler tone. “Because this can't keep happening-- I can't--” She faltered, attempting to swallow the knot in her throat. “I can't keep putting her back together, Aubrey. Pretty soon there just won't be anything left of her.” Her voice quaked slightly as she continued in a much sadder tone than she intended. “She loves you.”

Something like realization quickly colored Aubrey’s face. “And you love her.” The blonde said, gently.

Beca worked her jaw a couple of times-- swallowed the emotion that seemed to lodge itself in her throat. “This isn't about me, Posen.” She finally rasped. “It's about you. So, tell me-- why… why are you doing this to her?”

Aubrey looked pale, one hand moving to clutch at her stomach. She avoided Beca’s gaze, green eyes finding a spot to the side as she took a steadying breath. “I--I do love Chloe,” She finally said, voice thick with unshed tears. “I love her with all that I have, but I--” She faltered, visibly swallowing. “But I-- I'm in love with you, Beca.” 

For a moment, everything seemed to stand still as Beca blinked up at Aubrey in shock. Once. Twice. And then her mouth moved wordlessly, brain trying to make sense of it all. 

Because it didn’t make sense. 

Words seemed to trip over themselves in her brain, but the only thing that Beca could get out was, “--Wait, what?” Beca took a slow step back, looking like a skittish deer. “No, what? How?” She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts, brows furrowing slightly. “Why?”

Aubrey looked as if she was going to be sick as she folded her arms over her chest and glanced down. “Since that first practice,” She started quietly. “It’s why I was always so much harder on you-- I was-- I was upset that I felt-- what I felt.” She smiled ruefully. “That and it seemed like you were just trying to urserp me. But, I knew nothing would ever happen, so I figured it would be easier to hate you.” 

“But-- but dude-- why?” Beca asked again, still shell shocked. 

“Because you challenged me. You didn’t take any of my shit like the rest of the girls-- or even like Chloe. If I pushed, you pushed back.” Aubrey explained, eyes still downcast. “And not only that, but I was jealous of what you and Chloe seemed to have and she seemed so-- infatuated with you. I thought--” She shook her head and sighed. “I was wrong, though. I should have known that Chloe was just being Chloe.”

“Yeah…” Beca croaked out, glancing down at her shoes. “Me, too.” A sigh escaped her lips as she scrubbed her face tiredly. “I don’t-- I don’t know what to do with this information, Aubrey.” She finally brought her gaze up to meet Aubrey’s. “But, regardless-- you need to get your shit together and stop being a fucking garbage friend to Chloe. She needs you, dude. If you love her like you say you do-- you should apologize and instead of avoiding her-- talk to her.” 

There was a pregnant pause, where Aubrey looked away for a moment, eyes flashing with regret. Beca took another small step back. “Because I can’t be what she needs, dude. I’ve tried and tried, and I’m not sure I’ve got anymore tries left in me.” Another step back. “Fix it, dude.” Beca offered a small, crooked thing of a smirk but it was easy to see the pain in her eyes. “I’ve gotta go. I-- I’m sorry, Aubrey.” She stepped back again until she’s pressed up against the door, and with one last look in the blonde’s direction, Beca turned and left. 

Her feet started off in a quick pace, before she was running-- where, she wasn’t sure. She didn't run for long, ending up in a secluded area near the lake where she finally let go of everything she’d been holding in. A sob wracked through her as her back pressed up against a tree and she slid down it, slowly. “Fuck!” She all but screamed, wanting to punch something. It was all so fucked up. Everything was just-- fucked up. That was the only way she could think to explain-- whatever this shit was.

She was in love with Chloe, and Chloe was in love with Aubrey-- who was apparently in love with Beca? She’d never thought of Aubrey as anything but a friend and that was just fairly recent, and even then, Aubrey had made it back to Beca’s shit list for the crap she pulled with Chloe. Sure, Aubrey was beautiful-- a classic beauty, really. But Beca had never-- she had just never had the chance to really think about something like that. Because Aubrey had pressed her buttons and had pissed her off. 

Beca supposed that with all of their fights, if she had felt anything for Aubrey-- it would have been buried deep beneath her frustration and anger. But thinking about it, there had been something between them when they argued-- some spark, like maybe they both secretly liked arguing and challenging each other. Now, though-- now she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. It all just baffled her and the new feelings that Aubrey’s revelation conjured up left her feeling even more confused. 

But Beca couldn’t dwell much longer on it, knowing that if she were gone any longer then someone would come looking for her. She knew she had to start trying to regain some sort of composure. 

So after a few more minutes of practically hyperventilating, Beca shuddered out a sigh and brought her knees up to her chest, cheek resting against her knees as she stared out at the lake. She kept telling herself to get up, that she should be tending to Chloe, but she just-- she needed a moment. Just a single moment where she could let her guard down. 

Beca sat there for another fifteen minutes, making sure her face was clear of any traces that she’d been crying. She found everyone around the campfire where she met Stacie’s gaze. The taller woman nodded once and Beca took her spot. “Hey, Beale.” Beca nudged the redhead’s side gently before wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” She promised gently. “This’ll pass, too. Maybe like a goddamn kidney stone, but it’ll pass.” 

Chloe managed a soft, watery chuckle as she rested her head in the crook of Beca’s neck, and sighed. “Thanks, Becs.” She mumbled. 

Smiling sadly, Beca pressed a soft kiss to the crown of Chloe’s head as her eyes got lost in the flames of the fire. “Anytime, Chlo. Anytime.”


	3. Don't Patronize Me ('Cause I Can't Make You Love Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacie comforts a heartbroken Chloe after Aubrey ignores her throughout the retreat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're here, we're queer, and we're sorry we procrastinate so much. 
> 
> xo,   
> the goober & dingdong

The day had been hard and long, not just for the strenuous exercises the girls had been made to do. The sun was hot, beating down on the girls as they were put through the literal and metaphorical ringer by one Aubrey Posen. 

 

It had been harder than Chloe could have ever imagined, sitting inches away from her entire heart and being ignored like gum on the bottom of a shoe. 

 

Every longing look was strategically ignored, comments brushed off, and her attempts to hug or touch the blonde shoved away. 

 

_ Maybe she didn’t want to do this in front of the other girls _ , Chloe reasoned with herself. There was a small part in the back of her mind that knew Aubrey didn’t care, couldn’t care. 

 

If she cared, she would have come around. 

 

Chloe found herself sitting out by the fire, the reflection dancing in her eyes as she waited - yellow cup in hand - for Beca to return. Her heart ached, prompting the pour of her fourth - no, fifth - drink of the evening. 

 

There was a soft hand on her shoulder, a tall figure looking down on her. Chloe turned, heart jumping at the minuscule possibility that it could, in fact, be Aubrey. 

 

It wasn’t. It was Stacie, with Fat Amy following closely behind her. 

 

Not that she was expecting Aubrey to show up, because she  _ wasn’t. _ Chloe pat the log beside her, offering the girls a watery smile. 

 

She wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and she was tapped out on her cheery disposition for the day. Something about being around Aubrey - and a very angry Beca - drained her of all emotion but sadness. 

 

“Hi.” Her voice was soft, dejected. It was something that Stacie was used to, but it still brought a frown to the taller woman’s face. 

 

“Hey, Red. Whatcha drinking?” Stacie held her arm out, motioning for Chloe to relax into her arms. The redhead obliged, leaning her head onto the younger woman’s shoulder and holding up her cup. 

 

“Tequila. Straight.” Her voice was solemn, eyes slipping shut as she relaxed into Stacie’s embrace. She had always been there alongside Beca through everything. The hospital, the depression, and her pathetic 3am drunk dialing. 

 

“Bad place, eh? Come here.” Stacie’s eyes were soft and caring, something that was rarely seen from the leggy brunette.

 

Amy tentatively sat on Chloe’s other side, rubbing soft circles over the small of the redhead’s back. Chloe just let out a soft sob, burying her head in Stacie’s chest. 

 

Sitting there, in the glow of the fire, Chloe felt more broken down than she ever had. More than anything, she wanted to crawl into bed and never get up. 

 

But Beca and Stacie had ensured that she would never do that again, camping out on her floor and making sure she always took her antidepressants. None of the other Bellas knew - Chloe was vehemently against telling them - and every day was a struggle to be her usual cheery self. 

 

Stacie had been her therapy, Beca her salvation. Fat Amy was always around for a laugh and a good time. Hell, even Legacy came around every now and then to make sure she was okay when Stacie had class and Beca was working. 

 

It was more love than Aubrey ever gave her, yet it was never enough. Sure, she loved Beca and Stacie, but they weren’t her Aubrey. No one would ever compare. 

 

Aubrey was a tornado in every sense of the word. She ran in and shook things up, leaving only disaster in her wake. But that’s the thing about love, you can get knocked down nine times and go back a tenth. 

 

Chloe sobbed openly into Stacie’s arms, clutching her favorite yellow cup for dear life. She wasn’t sure exactly  _ what  _ she was crying about, but once the first tears fell, it was like trying to hold back a storm. 

 

She clutched at the taller woman, face crumpling in the most beautiful ugly cry anyone had ever seen. It was full of raw emotion and Stacie felt her heart break more than it had already. 

 

Unbeknownst to Chloe, Stacie had been there through every single bit of the heartbreak. She suffered through Beca’s side of it, and picked Chloe up off the floor more times than she cared to count. 

 

Aubrey was destruction and thunder, disaster and sadness. Stacie hated the blonde for it, for breaking her two best friends in the world. 

 

It hurt so badly to see Chloe and Beca hurting. She saw how Beca cried when the redhead wasn’t around, how badly her heart broke when Chloe sobbed for Aubrey in the middle of the night. 

 

Seeing Beca so vulnerable and pathetic, sobbing in the hospital waiting room broke Stacie more than she could have ever imagined. 

 

She idly entertained murdering Aubrey for causing her two best friends in the entire world so much pain. But no, Chloe would just suffer more. 

 

God, that girl was whipped. Every time her phone vibrated, she jumped and ran with the same sad hope that it was Aubrey. When the blonde’s ringtone blared across the apartment, Chloe giggled like a giddy school girl. 

 

That woman made Chloe  _ blush _ , and Aubrey didn’t even care. It had Stacie fuming inside. She honestly wished she could do more for her friends. Everything was just such a mess. 

 

They sat there in relative silence, watching the fire and listening to the other Bellas murmur quietly amongst themselves. Before long, Stacie caught sight of Beca and by the way that Chloe sat up a little, so had she. Meeting Beca’s eye, Stacie nodded briefly before she stood, allowing Beca to take her place while Stacie moved to sit next to Emily, wrapping an arm around the younger Bella. 

 

“Hey, Beale.” Beca nudged the redhead’s side gently before wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” She promised gently. “This’ll pass, too. Maybe like a goddamn kidney stone, but it’ll pass.” 

 

Chloe managed a soft, watery chuckle as she rested her head in the crook of Beca’s neck, and sighed. “Thanks, Becs.” She mumbled. 

 

Smiling sadly, Beca pressed a soft kiss to the crown of Chloe’s head as her eyes got lost in the flames of the fire. “Anytime, Chlo. Anytime.” 

 

Sighing, Chloe nuzzled her face into Beca’s neck, missing the way that the smaller woman stiffened and inhaled sharply, before she finally released it back out. “You tired?” 

 

“No,” Chloe said through a yawn. “D’you think Aubrey is still awake?” 

 

Beca worked her jaw a few times, trying to keep her frustrations bottled up. “Chlo, don’t even think about it. You’re just torturing yourself. You are not, under any circumstances, allowed to go to Aubrey’s cabin.” She said quietly. 

 

Chloe let out a quiet little whine before she nodded. “You’re-- you’re right.” 

 

“Of course I am, when am I ever wrong?” Beca teased, trying to lighten the mood. 

 

The redhead chuckled. “Plenty of times.” 

 

“Sounds like fake news, to me.” Beca replied with a little smirk. “C’mon, you might not be tired, but I am.” Beca stood and pulled Chloe up with her. “Night, guys.” She nodded to the other Bellas as she guided the redhead back to the tent. 

 

They laid facing each other for a while, until Chloe couldn’t take it anymore and stood slowly. “I’ll be back, I just have to use the restroom.” Beca yawned once and nodded, mumbling something about watching out for those fucking bear traps. Chloe chuckled lightly before she exited the tent, using her phone as a flashlight. And of course, instead of finding a tree to pee behind, Chloe headed in the direction of Aubrey’s cabin, pushing the guilt she felt for lying to the back of her mind. 

 

Afterall, when Chloe got her mind on something, she just couldn’t let it go. 

  
  



	4. I'll Give You Everything I Am (all my broken heartbeats)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe goes out to Aubrey's cabin to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? *gasps* It almost appears as though we have our shit together!!
> 
> They've been written for like, a week.
> 
> Anydick, review and let us know what you think!!

Beca had explicitly told Chloe  _ not  _ to go to Aubrey’s cabin - it was the only way she could protect the fragile redhead from further pain, especially after Aubrey’s earlier confession. But Chloe never did have a knack for following directions, prompting her to sneak out of the tent under the guise that she was ‘just going to the ladies room’. 

 

Standing outside of the small log cabin, she bit her lip. Hand hovering in the air, she knocked cautiously at the door. There was only one light on, a soft glow in the window. 

 

If Chloe knew Aubrey at all - and she did, better than she knew herself - the blonde would still be awake, reading some romance or erotica novel. But  _ god, Chloe, I don’t read that trash _ . She smirked to herself, memories flying through her head. 

 

It had always been so good between them. At least that’s how the situation presented itself. 

 

The door swung open and Chloe’s jaw dropped. It had been so long since she saw Aubrey in such a private setting, it had her breath catching in her throat. 

 

Chloe had always loved seeing Aubrey relax at home - her usual proper image a little bit looser, a bit more free. Aubrey’s hair was pulled up in a messy bun, her thick rimmed glasses perched atop her head amongst the mass of silky hair. Her pajama pants were slung low on her hips and paired with a tank top. Chloe let out a soft gasp, eyes filling with tears. 

 

“Bree, oh I’ve missed you.” She fought the urge to hold the taller woman, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. Chloe couldn’t help it, the blonde just looked so  _ unguarded.  _

 

“Chloe.” It was terse, spit out like a sour candy. It was a pang directly to Chloe’s heart, the smaller woman briefly debating running away and never looking back.

 

She didn’t. Because Chloe Beale never backs down, even in the eye of the storm - and god, was Aubrey a storm. 

 

“We need to talk. I miss you.” 

 

“I uh, yeah. Come in - can I get you something? Tea? Cocoa?” 

 

Chloe’s eyes lit up in wonder. Of course Aubrey would remember that she loved hot cocoa more than anything in the world. It was their special tradition, Aubrey would make them hot cocoa when Chloe was sad or sick. 

 

It was just a Swiss Miss packet, but the redhead swore that it only tasted good when Aubrey made it. The blonde argued that she made it just the same as every other person on the planet. 

 

Chloe sat, hands folded in her lap nervously. They hadn’t spoken face to face in quite some time, it was like they were strangers again - no matter how much they called and texted. 

 

“You still have that bedding.” Chloe started, a fond smile playing on her lips. 

 

“I do.” It was tense, Aubrey hid her expression by bending over the mugs and stirring with more vigor than necessary for a powdered mix. 

 

“I painted your walls.” She blurt out, eyes downcast. “They’re not really  _ your  _ walls. It’s not your room anymore, I keep reminding myself. You’re gone. You  _ left me.”  _ It was choked out, tears forming in the redhead’s eyes. 

 

Aubrey was never good with emotions, especially when they were directed at her. Did she  _ really  _ hurt her best friend? Was Beca right? 

 

She shook her head, shoving a mug towards Chloe who accepted it with a watery smile. The redhead took a long pull from the mug, leaning back into the plush couch. 

 

“I didn’t  _ leave you _ , Chloe. I moved.” 

 

No, she didn’t move. Aubrey ran. She ran from her feelings, as she always did. If the going got tough, Aubrey got going. 

 

“Aubrey, it wasn’t like that! You moved, and then you  _ left me.  _ It was like I never even mattered to you.” 

 

“You do matter, that’s why I call you and text you.” Aubrey’s tone was professional, nodding her head in that signature Aubrey nod that told you that she was right, and everyone else was wrong. End of story. 

 

Chloe set the mug down on the glass table in front of her with a little too much force. She winced, deciding to set the mug on a coaster instead. It was evident that she was biding herself time to think, sorting her thoughts out before she spoke. A soft sigh passed her lips, head shaking softly. 

 

“No, Bree, it didn’t matter. I laid in that hospital bed because  _ you left.  _ I took all of those pills, drank all of that liquor, laid there dying. You  _ never came.  _ Aubrey, I begged for you. I cried for you. It didn’t matter - it doesn’t matter.” Chloe sobbed out, looking Aubrey square in the eye. 

 

It took the blonde aback, both Chloe’s fierceness and raw emotion. She felt her heart shatter worse than it already had, her eyes filling with the tears she should have shed long ago. 

 

“Chloe...my Chloe.” Aubrey breathed, shaking her head. How in the world would she explain this? How could she love not one but  _ two  _ people? 

 

The redhead held her gaze, licking her lips before letting out a strangled cry she clearly tried to stifle. It was so unlike Chloe to try to hide her emotions - it ignited a certain fear in the blonde, terrified she would lose Chloe forever. 

 

“I don’t know how to explain this to you, Chlo. I really don’t.” 

 

“Let’s start at the part where you abandoned me after I  _ almost died _ . That seems like a good place to start explaining.” Her arms folded across her chest, the redhead spit more venom in that moment than she had her entire life. 

 

“I...I’m sorry, Chloe. I should have been there. I —“ 

 

“Save it.” Chloe held Aubrey’s gaze, soft blue eyes hardening to ice. There was a long pause, both women trying to collect their thoughts. 

 

Aubrey was never proficient in emotions, and Chloe had  _ too many  _ emotions. It made for a dangerous conversation and hostile environment. Aubrey sat forward, taking a long sip from her drink in an effort to remain cool and collected. She hadn’t had an  _ incident  _ in a while, but it was always on the horizon. 

 

“I love you, Chloe. But I...I also love Beca.” 

 

Silence. 

 

She couldn’t tell if Chloe was going to kill her, laugh, or cry. Aubrey screwed her eyes shut, waiting for death - an emotional Chloe was out of control. 

 

Nothing came. Chloe didn’t even flinch. It was as though she had known all along. She sighed softly, eyes still trained on the blonde. 

 

Without thinking, Aubrey got up and sat beside the redhead, wrapping her arms around her. Her precious Chloe, her first love and only lover. The girl who wiped her tears, calmed her nerves, and loved her unconditionally. 

 

She flinched upon contact, the tears coming hard and fast. It was like she was drowning and unable to come up for air. Chloe sobbed openly, tiny fists pounding into Aubrey’s chest. 

 

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! I fucking  _ hate  _ you for doing this to me, but god  _ damn it Aubrey,  _ I love you.” She heaved out, clutching at Aubrey’s tank top as she continued to sob. “I wish I could hate you. I wish I could pack up and move on. Why don’t you love me?” 

 

Aubrey’s tears fell freely now, the smaller woman in her arms always spurring on the most violent of emotions. It was bullshit when daddy said that Posens don’t have emotions. They do, and it hurts. 

 

“I do, Chlo. I do love you.” Aubrey buried her face in Chloe’s hair, breathing in the familiar scent of shampoo and Chloe’s favorite body spray. The usually calming scent had Aubrey’s stomach rolling with nerves. 

 

What if this was the last time she would hold Chloe in her arms, breathe her scent in? What if this was the last time she would see her? 

 

“I love you, Bree. But you love Beca.” It was a small whine, Aubrey could tell that Chloe was trying to hold back a fresh round of tears. 

 

“I never said that I loved her  _ more.  _ I said that I  _ also  _ love her. Just...why don’t you let me hold you for a minute?” 

 

Aubrey’s heart hammered in her chest, arms tightening around the small redhead. She stifled a gasp, realizing just how badly she had screwed up. 

 

Chloe’s body had always been small, but never like this. Aubrey could count every notch in her spine, every rib, every bone. Chloe’s soft frame had turned pointy and cold. The redhead’s skin was chilled and Aubrey realized that the shivering wasn’t from emotion. 

 

“Chlo...baby, what have you done?” Aubrey sobbed out, burying her face further into brittle red hair. 

 

Chloe never answered, tears falling down her face again. It was months of pent up anger, sadness,  and loneliness spilling out over the edges. 

 

They sat wrapped up in each other for what seemed like an eternity, Chloe’s breathing leveling out as Aubrey’s heart began to beat at a normal pace. 

 

Aubrey’s eyes were closed, lips pressed against Chloe’s hair and whispering sweet nothings to the smaller girl beneath her. She was determined to make it better - to fix the pain she had caused. With a soft sigh Chloe looked up at Aubrey, eyes wet again. 

 

There was a fire in her eyes that Aubrey rarely saw, and her lips were pursed into a thin line. How  _ did  _ she feel about Beca? 

 

The small brunette had been there through everything. Her caretaker, her savior, her best friend. Though they never reached the intimacy she had with Aubrey, it was definitely  _ not  _ what most best friends did. 

 

But was it  _ love _ ? 

 

It was unmistakable with Aubrey - the adoration she felt for the blonde, love so strong it was all consuming. 

 

But with Beca it was  _ different.  _ She would absolutely die without the tiny brunette, she would be devastated without her. In a way, it was love. But was it the love shared between friends or was it the passion between lovers? 

 

Chloe tipped her head back, a soft groan passing her lips. Why couldn’t they just  _ try _ ? Try to be happy together. Try to be functional. Try to love each other in the way she knew was completely possible. Shaking her head, she looked deeply into Aubrey’s eyes. 

 

“I guess we should talk to Beca. I guess I uh, feel  _ something  _ for her. After all, she built me back up when I tore myself down. I do...care about her.” Chloe offered, smile tense but very real. 

 

Aubrey nodded, bottom lip drawn between her teeth in silent anxiety. “Yeah, I guess we should.” 


End file.
